Most Botched Matches 2016

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10. Cody & Brandi Rhodes vs. Mike & Maria Bennett, TNA Impact
(Cody and Brandi are a meal deal when you only want a drink because you’re thirsty. But the sandwich hasn’t finished cooking yet.)

9. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, WWE Hell In a Cell
(It’s got to suck when two wrestlers have fine TV matches and then have a mess of a match on PPV. Honourable mention to Canadian tag team 3.0 fucking up the neck brace.)

8. Zodiak vs. Deadly Dale, IWA-MS KOTDM
(The token indie match. What a year it was when this was my only choice. Everyone stepped up their game this year, indies need to fuck up more man.)

7. Su Yung vs. Leva Bates, WSU Breaking The Barriers 4
(Oh wait ignore what I just typed.)

6. The Hunter Bros. vs. The Facesmashers, Fight Club Pro Project Mayhem V
(And now the token UK match. In fairness, it was the table that was the issue (to state the obvious) but an eliminated wrestler having to assist the slay the beast entertained me.)

5. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, WWE Summerslam
(I preferred these two when they weren’t trying to kill one another.)

4. Shane McMahon, WWE Survivor Series
(Yeah no-one else, just him. People said I was too nice on him at Survivor Series and after re-watching the match I agreed. Because the match was nearly an hour and featured great moments it was still enjoyable but holy shit at Shane’s punches/dives/ability to get knocked out in the main event of a PPV.)

3. Knockouts Gauntlet Battle Royal, TNA One Night Only: Live
(I pussied out because I didn’t want back-to-back women’s matches for the top slots. You think this wouldn’t matter but go try criticising any women wrestler on Twitter and watch what happens. Anyway this was pure awful

2. Enzo & Cass vs. Vaudevillains vs. no name vs. The New Day, WWE Money In The Bank
(Messier than a side-of-the-road cafe omelette.)

1. Shelly Martinez vs. Rebel, TNA One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown
(Even though this is a top ten list, don’t be fooled. There were no other contenders for the Most Botched Match accolade. Even by the standards of TNA jokes it’s still crazy this pre-taped match aired and TNA was like ”yeah this is fine.” A fake account posted Shelly retired after the match, in truth she hadn’t. And why should she? The only way is up after this!

Music…
Radio Control by Shinobu Amayake (Stunt Race FX)
Level 1 ~ Gaulish Village by Nathan McCree (Asterix and the Great Rescue)
Stage Theme 18 by Hirohiko Takayama, Tsukamoto (Lemmings, Mega Drive)
Level 9 Food and Drink by Patrick Collins, Randy Newman, Andy Blythe, Marten Joustra and Allister Brimble (Toy Story, Mega Drive)
Vampire Killer by Kinuyo Yamashita (Castlevania)
Hidden Race Song by Jun Ishikawa, Dan Miyakawa (Kirby Super Star)
Hollywood Heights by Mitch Murder (Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number)
Ancient Lake by David Wise (Diddy Kong Racing)

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